Why I would never make it in the writers' room

Disclaimer: SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD - to like all of my favorite shows

I just finished the fourth and final season of "Felicity" and sometimes I wish that show would have never happened to me.

Since my main life goal is to be a famous writer, obviously it's crossed my mind that I maybe I would someday create and write a television show. Over time I've realized there's no way that could ever happen. Here's why: conflict stresses me out. All the things that make a show good and captivating and addicting are the reasons that I have freak-outs in my bed while watching "Felicity", why I skip season three of "Friends" every time I watch it, why season two of "Roswell" sends me into a pit of depression. Point being, if I wrote a television show, I feel like nothing bad would ever happen in it. And while that sounds like a dream to me, I think other people would find it boring.

Things that never would have happened if I were the writer:

-Ross and Rachel never would have broken up. Every time I watch it I think maybe it will be different. In fact, season three would cease to exist altogether probably.

Better days

-Same with Zach and Kelly

I don't know why you're laughing at this.

- So many things would be cut from "Alias". For example, Francie never would have died and been replaced by an evil impersonator, Sydney would never have fake died, causing Vaughn to marry someone else, Vaughn would never have fake died; the list goes on and on.



-George never would have died and Izzie never would have gone crazy and left Alex. Lots of things would have changed in "Grey's Anatomy" if I were in charge, but those are the two main ones so far.

You just had to leave, didn't you?

-Tess Harding would never come to Roswell.

Barf.

-Therefore, Alex would never have died.

Oh, Alex

-And Max and Liz would never break up.

I can't

-Felicity would never have cut her hair.

VS.

Gew!!!

-Felicity would never treat Ben like garbage.

-Ben would never treat Felicity like garbage.

-Felicity would never have slept with Noel.

-Ben wouldn't have had a kid with some boozy pre-Cuddy floozy.

-Ben and Felicity would never break up - any of the million times that they did.


-Felicity would never have gone back in time because that was just weird.

Etc., etc. etc. I could go on, because 90 percent of what happens in these shows annoys me and/or stresses me out. But I think you get the picture. The fact is, drama sells. Conflict sells. Love triangles sell. And while love triangles are the absolute worst, without any of these things I probably wouldn't be completely obsessed with all of these shows and feel like their drama is my drama. So, maybe J.J. Abrams isn't an idiot like I've shouted several times over the last few days. Maybe Jason Katims didn't really want to ruin my life. He just wanted to make a good show. Well, mission accomplished. The only reason I'm not jumping from my Felicity marathon into a Roswell marathon is because I lent out my first season DVDs last week. Now who's the idiot?

Take-aways: I like TV shows, I couldn't write one, and writers like to make my life miserable. End of story.

P.S. - Can we just take a moment?




Why isn't Scott Speedman in more things??